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Chocolate Salty Balls

From the South Park television show

I have always tried to keep this blog kid-friendly, but this is one of those things I just can't avoid forever. In honor of Isaac Hayes, I decided to create a Chocolate Salty Balls recipe using the ingredients from the song. I apologize in advance for any offense. Parents, please forgive me, and avert your children's eyes if you must. If you've been doing your job your kid won't get the joke anyway. South Park has always been a very controversial show, with topics that range from offensive to just plain disgusting. But, unlike many other similar television cartoon shows (I won't name which) it actually always has something to say, though the message may not be agreeable for everyone. Throughout it's 17 seasons the show has slowly evolved from a silly immature cartoon into a genuine satire, with honest and occasionally virtuous messages imbedded amongst the crude humor. Additional to decent writing, it has won the respect of many nerds everywhere with detailed references to such geeky things as World of Warcraft, Batman and Star Trek. One week from today is the three year anniversary of the death of Isaac Hayes, a talented and influential soul singer, and the man who voiced the beloved South Park character called Chef. Chef was the portly and promiscuous cafeteria cook for the first 10 seasons of the show. As one one of the more kind and down-to-earth characters, his advice was often sought by the four protagonists... though his advice generally manifested itself in totally inappropriate and non-relevant soul songs. The recipe I have for you today comes from one of those comedic misguided soul songs, probably the most popular song from the show, titled "Chocolate Salty Balls." You can listen here, or read here, but I warn you it's totally NSFW (or for the squeamish, or easily offended, OR children). The song basically describes a recipe for a salty spherical pastry to um, well... to suck on. Despite the obvious metaphor here, I thought a salty chocolate pastry sounded pretty darn good... and guess what? I was right! Chef's balls are delicious!


Ingredients

2/3 cup salted butter

1 1/2 cups sugar

1/4 cup brandy

4 cups semisweet chocolate chips

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

4 eggs

2 tablespoons cinnamon

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon table salt

Coarse sea salt, to taste


Directions
In a saucepan, bring the butter, sugar and brandy to a boil, stirring constantly. Remove from the heat. Stir (with a wooden spoon) in 2 cups of chocolate chips until melted. Remember to give that spoon a lick! Cool mixture slightly. Stir in vanilla. In a large mixing bowl, beat the eggs. Gradually add the chocolate mixture and mix well. Combine the flour, baking soda, cinnamon and salt, then gradually add the dry ingredients to the chocolate mixture. Stir in any remaining chocolate chips. Spread into a greased baking pan. Bake at 325 degrees for 35-45 minutes or until a fork inserted in the center comes out clean. Careful not to burn your balls! Let cool just enough that it won't burn your hands. Meanwhile set up a small plate or cutting board with some of the sea salt on it. Scrape up the brownie mix, working around the edges. You don't want to use the hard edges for the balls. Begin shaping 1″ balls out of the mix, give or take in size. Roll the balls in the salt. Do this very lightly (I suggest you do NOT try to emulate the picture), a little sea salt goes a very long way.  If you do happen to oversalt, just brush the excess salt crystals off. Too much salt is bad, mmmkay? You're done, put 'em in your mouth and suck 'em!
vegetarian 1700660454249812377

Post a Comment

  1. Oh, I am totally trying these.

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  2. I cannot wait to try these bad boys out.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. im going by the original recepie the only thing im changing is im going to add the salt, go to the geeky chefs chocolate salty balls at www.geekychef.com/2011/08/chocolate-salty-balls.html for the original chef recepie

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    2. Problem with the recipe is there is a bag or two of sugar. So you better find some pretty small bags!

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  3. I can't believe you did this.
    I can't wait to try it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. put em in your mouth and suck em!!!!!!!!!!!!

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    2. I went there! They're actually super yummy.

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  4. They're packed full of vitamins, and good for you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And by vitamins, you mean absolutely nothing good for you, right? XD

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  5. These look great. Can't wait to make this.

    Do you take suggestions? I'm a huge Pokemon fan and I noticed that you don't have any recipes of Pokemon-inspired food items.

    Here are a few I'd like to taste/try to make: Volcano Burger, Rage Candy Bar, Pokemon Lemonade, and this Pokemon ketchup that Pikachu cried over in the Anime.

    See my link for a photo: https://files.nyu.edu/hs1232/public/images/pikachu5.png


    Thank very much for reading my suggestion. :3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your suggestion! I will definitely look into this.

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  6. This is really funny!
    Your recipe reminds me of German Rum Balls- the "German"/European people they take "old" cakes, add cocoa and rum and then roll in chocolate sprinkles and nuts!

    it is quite good actually.

    www.prettytastyreviews.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oooh! Nice! Thank you for sharing. It's probably really similar.

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  7. Fantastic! I did wonder if anyone had published the recipe online. Brilliant. Well Christmas is at the in laws this year. What better offering can I give for Christmas than to munch on my very own salty balls. I do hope they enjoy them. It's a must!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What an excellent Christmas surprise!

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  8. can u do this without brandy in it cuz i shouldnt be havent it at 13

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The alcohol will evaporate during cooking and only the flavor will remain.

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  9. You can just leave out the brandy or add some other non-alcoholic liquid, but generally, brandy is just going to leave a flavor. The actual alcohol will evaporate while cooking.

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  10. Thanks so much for this. My friends and I have had a running commentary on Chef and his CSBs on Facebook for a few weeks now. Can not wait to put 'em in my mouth and suck 'em!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're welcome! I hope you like them.

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  11. What a great sight, I can't wait to try this one.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Nooo!
    You have to bake them at tree-fiddy! Tree-fiddy!

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  13. I just made a batch of these, and they taste fantastic! I made them late last night, and after balling them and salting them, I let them sit out and rest overnight. They taste really incredible about 12 hours after making them. I used Kosher salt on mine, and the salty/sweet/fat mix in these is absolutely addictive. Great recipe!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm so glad you liked them! I also noticed they get better over time.

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  14. I am currently looking at this recipe at school, and am making these as my controlled assessment recipe. Boo-ya! I'll try not to burn them. 'Oh man, baby..you just burn't my balls!!' :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm betting your teacher will ask to see you after class! Wink wink, nudge nudge.

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  15. Brilliant thanks very much

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  16. Love it! What size pan did you use?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think it was 9x13, but 8x8 should work too. I's not terribly important because you'll just be rolling it into balls, so brownie thickness is not an issue.

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  17. Could you please use metric measurements so that outside of the us people can make it. i cant really find a clear conversation of a cup of butter to grams (everyone seems to have a different opinion about it )

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry about that buddy, but my viewership is predominately American and most of us are not accustomed to the metric system. I know Imperial is a little nonsensical but unfortunately it's what I (and most of my viewers) know. One cup of butter is approximately 225 grams. If you are over or under by a few grams it won't make much of a difference, so don't worry too much if there is some variation of opinion.

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  18. I st made these and only realised after I finished that I didn't use the cinnamon... it's in the ingredients list, but not the instructions... oh well. Hopefully it will taste OK without cinnamon too! Thanks for the recipe - it's for a work friend who often says 'she can suck on my chocolate salties...' :) X

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  19. Have you tried to roll them into balls first and then bake them? Do they not retain their ball shape?

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  20. there is cinnamon in the ingredient list, but not mentioned in the directions. When/how do you use the cinnamon? 2 Tbsp is a LOT of cinnamon???

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm pretty sure cinnamon is a "dry ingredient" so "gradually add the dry ingredients to the chocolate mixture." Not that much cinnamon considering how much batter.

      Delete

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